The teenager married too many times to count

October 24, 2019 · By Nawal al-Maghafi for www.bbc.co.uk

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Warning: Some readers may find some of these details upsetting

Rusul woke to find herself alone. Her new husband had gone. The marriage had lasted just three hours.

It wasn’t the teenager’s first marriage. It wasn’t even her second, third or fourth. In fact she’s been married too many times for her to count.

Rusul’s harrowing way of life was triggered by an encounter when she was at work.

She would watch as girls not much older than her in tight clothing and bright make-up came in to wait expectantly. Older men would soon come in to pick them up.

“They were such beautiful young girls, I couldn’t understand why any girl would sell herself like this,” she says.

She herself was also vulnerable – estranged from her family and supporting her sister Rula.

But despite her hardships, she had made a promise to herself that she wouldn’t depend on a man for survival. When men sneaked their number into her hand, she always ignored them.

One day, a man came in to her workplace and started chatting to Rusul. They talked about her past, about why she was working, rather than in school, and where she was from. She felt he actually cared.

Life had become increasingly tough for Rusul. Living in Baghdad on her meagre salary was a struggle.

Despite her initial vow to remain independent, she found herself dreaming of a husband – one who would take care of them both.

The man would come to her place of work every day to do what he could to grab her attention. Rusul gradually developed feelings for him.

After just a few weeks, he proposed. He took her to Kadhimiya in Baghdad. As they walked into a religious marriage office, Rusul felt a flutter of excitement.

The ceremony itself was brief – the cleric recited a few words, asked her whether she agreed with the $250 [£200] dowry she would receive and presented her with the contract. Rusul couldn’t read, but even if she could she might not have realised anything was amiss.

Within minutes of the cleric’s blessing, her new husband had taken her to a nearby apartment in an apparent rush to consummate their marriage. Although Rusul was nervous, she was looking forward to finally having a proper home for her and her sister. She followed her husband into the bedroom and, as she closed the door behind her, prayed that this man would treat her well, that their life together would last.

And indeed the first few days seemed like a fairy tale to Rusul.

“I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Finally I didn’t have to provide everything,” she says.

But after just a few weeks her husband disappeared.

Little did Rusul know that their marriage had an end-date before it had even begun. It was a special type of Islamic marriage – a “zawaj al-mutaa” or “pleasure marriage” – and that it was a way of allowing religiously approved sex. Hers had now expired.

She decided to visit the cleric who married them. She says he seemed to be expecting her.

Mutaa marriages are derived from pre-Islamic tradition in both Iran and Arabia. Today they are sanctioned by Shia clerics in Iraq and neighbouring Iran, where most Shia adhere to what is known as Twelver Shiism.

Experts say that under Shia Islam the object of such marriages is sexual enjoyment and not procreation, and that in previous centuries they took place mostly at pilgrimage sites and trade centres, where lonely men travelling long distances often sought company.

A mutaa marriage is subject to a contract that specifies its length and the amount of compensation given to the temporary wife. But the contract can just be verbal, and a cleric – though often present – is not necessary to validate it.

It can last from an hour to 99 years. The man is not obliged to provide daily maintenance and has the right to end the contract at any time.

Mutaa marriages are not permitted under Sunni Islam. But some Sunni clerics sanction alternative variants of marriage, such as “misyar”, which some experts say performs a similar function to mutaa marriage and has also been criticised as exploitative of women.

Supporters of mutaa marriages say they can be a positive move for couples who are aware of what they are doing. But their temporary form means they are also ripe for exploitation.

“This is something that is very widespread. There are many girls like me”

In the case of girls like Rusul, they essentially enable child abuse. They are also not recognised under Iraqi civil law. The criminal code states that any person who has sex outside of marriage with a girl or a woman could be punished with up to seven years’ imprisonment if she is between 15 and 18, or up to 10 years if she is under 15.

Rusul says the cleric now suggested she simply continue to enter into more mutaa marriages, arguing that she had no other choice given her difficulties.

He took photos of her.

Rusul knew she would struggle to survive for much longer on her salary, and that her lack of education afforded her little prospect of a better job. She also knew that the fact that she wasn’t a virgin would make it difficult for her to find a man who wanted a permanent marriage.

“The cleric became a middle man, giving me work, and I had no choice but to follow that road,” she says.

She won’t go into details about how much she earns, but says the cleric takes a fee from the client and then pays her the dowry. She says the length of her contracts have varied from a few hours to several weeks.

“When the Sheikh [cleric] calls up and says, ‘I’ve found someone suitable for you,’ I can’t say no.”

Rusul has by now slept with dozens of men – so many that she has lost count – in the course of these mutaa marriages.

She says the cleric provides her with contraceptive injections to ensure she doesn’t get pregnant.