Celibacy is a struggle, but faith keeps temptation at Bay
Published in The Universe
(March 09, 2003)
RECENTLY, a Bishop in the Philippines resigned when it became known that he had fathered a child. It was just after the International Family Convention that the story broke, and it has raised the issue of celibacy once again for the clergy.
For many priests being unmarried and chaste is always a struggle but for me, it has been an advantage, a clear choice that gave me an opportunity to do the kind of work that I feel called to. It is dangerous at times and being unmarried means a wife and children are not endangered. I have been humanly attracted to people with feelings of affection and love, but there is a line I cannot cross. To sacrifice some things is to achieve others.
To allow myself to be drawn into a relationship and become deeply emotionally or sexually involved would be like unfaithfulness in marriage, and rightly seen by many as a betrayal and justify a questioning of my credibility. Also, to continue advocating honest and open behaviour and secretly indulging, that is a shade too far and is to compromise one’s integrity.
It is right to be open and honest about it. And if a situation arises, then that priest can retire to married life, knowing that he has given many years in working unselfishly for the community. To do so is not selfishness but in some cases the right thing to do. But I have to remain committed to a certain goal. I have an added incentive to be faithful to the rules of my chosen lifestyle.
Fear of exposure and ridicule. Here in the Philippines, I am working against evil forces that want to destroy our credibility and close our refuge and human rights centre. They are just waiting for the slightest human weakness that they could use to cause a sensational scandal. But we are determined never to give them that opportunity, so to surrender to the great need for affection and tenderness, no matter how natural, is fraught with danger.
The solidarity and shared faith we have in Jesus, together in the struggle for liberation of the poor and the enslaved is enough in itself to keep other temptations at bay. The need to satisfy the sometimes longing for emotional and human love and it's expression in sexual encounter.
The deprivation of married life and having children of my own does not diminish me as a person. In fact it leaves me free to share a love of a different kind with those who hardly know what a kind word is, or even feel cared or protected. My family are those one treated as the outcasts and downtrodden. It is such a struggle to be constantly picking them up, there is no time or effort left for much else.
