Child Punishment For Pleasure
Document Title: Child Punishment For Pleasure
Document Ref No: R9706221
First Published: Issyu News Magazine
Publication Date: 22nd June 1997
Author's Name: Father Shay Cullen SSC
The incident in Paniqui Town, Tarlac, last week, where a grade 3 teacher
allegedly cut the ear lobes of four pupils as a punishment for misbehaving
in class, highlights a common phenomena by which adults take out their personal
anger and family frustration on vulnerable kids.
Parents might think it's wrong for someone else to beat their child but
not wrong for them. More children are hurt and injured by their own parents
and step-parents than any would like to admit.
Children grow up a bottle of repressed anger waiting for the cork to pop.
They are the children of anger, victims of verbal and physical abuse, insults
and psychological assault, beatings, sexual abuse and even maiming.
In Hobart Tasmania one year ago this month a youth went a killing spree
shooting everyone in sight. While nothing can justify it ever his upbringing
was a major factor in his violent behavior.
Child battering frequently leads to permanent physical injury and always
leaves severe psychological scars on the children. The ugly duckling syndrome
is common in homes where children from a previous marriage are discriminated
against by the new father and his off-spring.
Both he and the children see the child of a former marriage a rival and
a threat for the mothers love and attention.
There are thousands of children who grow up harboring feelings of anguish
and resentment because of harsh punishments and constant put-downs or rejection
at home and in school.
In Japan many school children have committed suicide because of being bullied
in the school yard. The serial killer who murdered and decapitated a school
boy there two months ago left a letter in the mouth of the child's head
blaming his cruel upbringing and saying that only by killing can he relieve
the hatred and have release and pleasure.
Some parents have that false perception they they are somehow the owners
of their children and can do with them as they please . It is an attitude
coming from a antiquated law that says the man is the owner of his property
including his wife (or wives) and children.
In some societies this is still a very dominating reality. The triumph of
the Taliban Muslim fundamentalists in Afghanistan is a major set-back as
they revert to the male dominance belief and ban all females from school,
college and work.
However the rights of women and children are now strongly established through
the Geneva Convention on Human Rights and reinforced by the convention on
the rights of the child.
I was privileged to be a participant in the Helsinki Conference in 1989
that drafted that convention which was later adopted by the United Nations
and became the corner stone for the World Summit on Children in 1990 when
it was proclaimed as the norm for children's right for the entire world.
That convention is a historical mark in the evolution of the human species.
It directs all human kind to regard their off-spring in a completely new
light. For many societies children were born to be child laborers. They
were an extra hand to work the soil, plant and harvest crops and take care
of the parents.
That's why the tradition of docility, fidelity and strict obedience has
been inculcated into children. It is a very positive and necessary value
if the child is to grow up responsible, disciplined and with strong moral
character.
But the over emphasis on discipline and dominance instead of love and affirmation
and affection destroys that bonding of child to parents and instead alienates
and and divides them.
The child is commodified as an economic asset, not an individual to be loved.
The convention regards a person protected until 18 years. The basic rights
are the right to life, to have a name, to know his or her parents, to have
an identity and a nationality, to be cared for and protected by parents
or the state when a situation of abuse arises.
The child has the right to free expression due process, freedom of association,
health, education and a clean environment. It's a child's right to be protected
from all abuse and exploitation.
We have all been children and if it was hard and unjust upbringing, dominated
by punishment and non-recognition and even deprivation of one kind or another
we may harbor anger, resentment and a desire for revenge.
That may be so but don't take it out on the kids. That way you will make
them like yourself filled with anger against you and society, prone to spread
family and social violence through the next generation.
